coming back to life..

i have lived in boston for 1 year, 3 months, and 9 days. when i got here, i was someone very different than who i am now.

i moved here for work. i got promoted. i got promoted again and then again. i love my job. it is hard and i am tired, but it is creative and fun and i enjoy the people i work with. but with taking the promotion and moving to boston, i left someone else behind. i thought by coming here i would be able to branch out, blog more, meet lots of new people, and maybe even gain new clients.

in reality, i had the worst moving experience ever. put something of a bitter taste in my mouth (not as bitter anymore). working in bigger stores with lots of stairs and taking multiple methods of public transportation everyday made more tired than i was used to being. i lost motivation. i couldn't find inspiration. i put off doing anything for myself, outside of work. planning to do it next week. next week became next month and now its been over a year and i am still where i started.

in portland, i felt like i was someone or on the way to becoming someone. in boston, in a sense, i had to start over. but i didn't put the effort in. i held on to my great accomplishments from the years past, compared myself to others who were doing what i wanted to be doing and got more discouraged.

then the worst thing of all happened. our apartment was broken into. they stole everything. my computer, my camera, my memory cards, my external hard drive. i lost everything i have ever worked on. material objects can be replaced, but those photos and projects can not. it was a really hard experience. it was violating. it was scary and it was sad.

now i have pulled myself off of the couch and i am committing to get back into doing what i love. and in order to really commit myself, i am going back to the roots of this blog.

it started as a virtual diary. i had just left a job i hated and finally had the freedom to wear the clothes i had been collecting for years. it was my chance to get creative and dress for myself. i challenged myself to 30 days without wearing the same outfit and not buying anything new. and i did it for a year!

this time i am only doing it for 30 days. i need to get out of this rut i am in. i have let myself fall victim to all the excuses. i get up at 4:30 in the morning and especially when it is cold in my apartment, i just want to put on something comfy. and back to being cold, it is cold outside. but when i get to work, the thermostat literally reads anywhere from 82-85 degrees everyday. it is hot. i am dressing for winter only to strip down once i get to work. so let me tell you, jeans and a t-shirt, a pair of chucks, and on many days, a beanie, has been my go-to work uniform. but i am a motherfucking merchandiser in a fashion forward company! mind you, i don't go to work looking like a schlump. i do put on jewelry and makeup and occasionally try to do my hair, but come on. i have so much clothing and i need to put it to use. (i am only yelling at myself here. unless you know you are like me, then i am yelling at you too!)

so here we go! another 30 days of 30 different outfits. as jay-z recently said (haha i know he didn't actually come up with this. or did he..), it takes 21 days to make something a habit. i am just giving myself a few more for, let's say.. good luck.

now here goes everything.