oceans, emotions, and birkenstocks.

I went to run an errand today. I had nothing to do after for a few hours. They keep saying this is the last of the 70 degree days we will have this year. Just in case this time is really the last time, I decided it would be a good idea to stay  outside. Being near the eastern prom and soon becoming a member of the east side of the portland peninsula, it seemed like the right place to go. 

There was a mention of fleetwood Mac on the radio as I was pulling up and thought how crazy it would be if one day I threw my headphones into my new purse. And low and behold, they were there! Had all intentions to put on fleetwood Mac radio, but the last time I listened, it happened to be to the head and the heart. Down in the valley came on and the line I'm on my way back to where I started really got me. This first week of not having a job and being home as been harder than I expected. I am alone all day. My life is in boxes and up in the air. Sitting here, I see an old man with his old dog playing fetch then sitting down for some water and a snack, a young couple not far from me with their dog. I thought it was cute and then I saw him with his head in his shirt and her rub is back. Life's a struggle for everyone in one way or another. Lots of tourists for sure. Cute old men taking photos on their phones, another reading a paper.

Even with no real job, it is so hard to find time to sit in nature, with the sun on your back, the wind on your face, and a huge beautiful ocean in front of you. Boats go by. People go by. Everyone with their own story, their own plans, but all in the same place. The leaves are changing, the tides are changing, the clouds (very slowly) are moving by. Nothing stays in one place, everything changes or grows or dies. It's hard. But what a beautiful thing it is to not only watch it, but to be a part of it all.

And man, how good does it feel to have your barefeet in the grass..
(Also, I did change it to the fleetwood Mac station. It is, after all, friday.)

**i copied and pasted this from the notes section on my phone where i wrote this, so don't mind the grammar or the capitalization.  i want to keep it real, you know.

hey maine, i'm back.

i have officially been back in maine for two weeks. things are still crazy and up in the air, but i am starting to feel a little bit more like i am staying here and not just on vacation. i do miss somerville (and boston), but i am falling back in love with some of my favorite portland things. and luckily, there is so much still to discover in the city i spent most of my life.

here is a little of what i have been up to..

pat (my new brother) // silly's back yard

our first meal back in portland was sunday brunch at silly's. i knew they had a back deck, but man, i had no idea how big and wonderful it was! not to mention it was 80 degrees. this was the perfect meal after day two of our move, which was super easy with our lovely family helping to move us into our storage unit.

back cove // pretty portland

latte with rachel // bard coffee

lunch break // congress square park

first friday art walk // space gallery

drinks with kim, pat, and terry // the bearded lady's jewel box

selfies and shopping // my happy place (aka goodwill)

all of the lights // bayside bowl

apple picking // thompson's orchard

house hunting // old orchard beach

triple date dinner // empire

last day of work // urban outfitters

late night salt + vinegar fries // nosh

fall on saturday // portland

donut line // the holy donut

one of our saturday rituals in somerville was coffee from bloc 11 and then waiting in line for donuts at union square donuts. today was the same saturday, but in a different city. today was coffee at tandem and donuts from holy donut, line included. now it is official, this is what the farmer's market does to a donut shop!

moscow mule // central provisions

basically, we ate our way back into portland. starting with silly's, stopping at pai men miyake, had a little el rayo, some duck fat, and ended at lunch at central provisions yesterday with my mom. we have barely made a dent in the food scene here in portland and along with the great coffee and cocktails, i can't wait to keep eating here. 

as for the other aspects of my new portland life, i ended my time with urban outfitters on friday. it was very sad to leave, but there was not a position here in portland for me. i do not have a new job yet, but i am certainly looking. i will be selling vintage at the portland flea-for-all very soon, so keep an eye out for that! as for where i am living, terry and i both currently living with our parents. we decided to start the apartment search once we were in portland, so wish us luck! overall, i am very excited to be back.

new york fashion week: s/s 2015.

on day one of new york fashion week, i found i had a little down time to look through the shows from that day. as i did, i (of course) started to see trends, so i started to take some notes (see above photo). as i kept looking through in the days that followed, it seemed that most of these words can describe much of what i saw.

working a full time job which doesn't consist of sitting at a computer, leaves little time for me to look through all the shows like i have in the past. this means i had to pick my favorites to look at. what i saw was something very refreshing, very wearable, clean, soft, a bit tomboy, and lots that i loved. here are just a few of my favorite things:

band of outsiders.

delpozo.

mara hoffman.

rachel comey.

steven alan.

coach.

j. crew.

((photos from style.com))

goodbye summer, hello next chapter.

this summer went by way too fast. so fast i don't even remember what i did. the one thing i do remember is my sister got married and had the most beautiful, perfect wedding (i'll come back to that later). other than that, i felt like most of the summer was spent feeling like i was waiting for something to happen. i don't know what i was waiting for and i am not sure if it happened, but it wasn't worth the wait. i spent so much time being busy, being tired, being stressed and not enough time being happy, doing exciting things, making the most of this one life i have, and spending too much time multitasking. 

as much as i hate for summer to end, i am excited for a new season to start. fall always feel like the beginning of something new. i know it stems from years of back-to-school shopping and starting a new school year. even as i get older, that feeling doesn't seem to go away.

this year, it is going to feel like the start of something new more than ever. in a few short weeks, i will be moving from somerville back to portland. this time the move doesn't bring me to a new job. as i am writing this, it brings be back here with no job. this is a scary thing for me, but there is so much excitement around it. i made a promise to myself that with this mood i am going to make my life about me and about doing the things that make me happy. i have dreamed really big dreams for a long time and now i am going to do something about. don't start getting jealous, this doesn't mean that i won't have to get a job. i do need an income, but i am not in a hurry to do something that won't make me happy. 

and another month is almost halfway through. how? where does it go? i have been thinking about how to really live my life lately and just tonight when i was checking some of my favorite blogs, i spotted an article on jen loves kev about living a simpler life. it lead me to a link of another article from another blog about single tasking. what a thought. just know as i am sitting here writing this, i am reaching for my phone and the tv is on. i can say that is something i plan to work on. when she says something about 'just riding in the passenger seat', she is speaking directly to me. why do i need to be looking at my phone while i am sitting with someone else. do you guys feel this way too? how do you deal with these things that have become so common in our every day lives? anyway, back to the article that started this.. living a simple, intentional life. though i do not have the same beliefs as this blogger, this post resonates with me on many levels. as i make a huge life change and as i make many promises to myself about what is going to come with this change, i want to keep these thoughts at the forefront. i don't want to have the guilt that i have had for so long. not blogging enough, not doing everything and being everything to everyone all the time. this is my life. i am not being selfish. i am being real. this is the time for me and time to love the life i am living.

snapshot of a weekend: a weekend to myself.

1. since i have been on the go all summer, i totally forgot that saturday meant farmers market. everything at the union square farmers market always looks so beautiful, but i am always drawn to drumlin farm's stand.

2. even though i spent the whole weekend with just myself and spent most of it cleaning and organizing, it didn't mean i had to sacrifice a good dinner. after hours of cleaning, i cleaned myself off and headed to one of my favorite somerville spots, highland kitchen, found the only free seat at the bar and had a few cocktails and some good food.

3. after dinner, i took the long way home. i walked through the food and fire festival in union square and of course, checked out the super moon.

4. sunday started off early. 7am early. i was up and out the door. walking through a very, very quiet somerville.

5. and the outcome of that very early walk was this. my favorite somerville coffee shop, bloc 11, made me a very yummy iced latte. this really helped pump me up for day two of cleaning and organizing.

6. i took a two hour break from cleaning on sunday. i walked to harvard square. i treated myself to lunch at my favorite place in the square (yes, this was a weekend of favorite places), crema, and then went to anthropologie. it was the second to last day of employee appreciation and there were, of course, things i NEEDED to get.

7. as i worked hard all weekend, this was what my cats did. mostly the same position, just in different places, all day long. oh the life of a cat. (if you want to see them sleeping in other ways, just check out my instagram..)